Monday, February 8, 2010

Where I find myself, lately

Minimal posts this week, I know.

I find myself in a not so happy place these days.

My Cas won't co-operate. My husband won't co-operate. I don't like my job, while I am grateful to have one. The weather isn't co-operating. And I just feel pretty much blach!
I'm normally an optimist. My glass is 1/2 full, not 1/2 empty. There is sunshine on the other side of the clouds, things WILL get better. So, please excuse the gloom and doom while I vent a little bit here. Maybe it will make me feel better....and maybe, just MAYBE some of my blog friends will kick my rump into a better place huh??

Casper - He won't get excited about doing ANYTHING. The ONLY thing we haven't tried yet are SPEED events - Casper has NO get up and go anyway, so no way would he like speed events - cow events - insert picture of me hands on the reins heels drug into the ground being drug water skiing style to the 'cattle arena'. I am SO against Casper doing anything cattle related that my blood boils, steam pours from my ears and my face turns lobster red just thinking about it.
He doesn't have the movement for western pleasure or hunter under, he's not compact enough for trail (or at least not yet), he will grudgingly doing showmanship pattern but it's a push to get him to do it, and last but not least, he plows THRU fences, not over them. He won't lift his front end enough and tuck up those legs to clear the fences. Plows through them :( So, my plans and dreams of making it to the AQHA world show with Cas are slowly but surely slipping and twisting down in to the drain where all impossible and unattainable dreams go.

DH- We won't talk about DH too much. Other than I just wish he'd GROW up and get his SHIT together!

Job - Hummm, the job. It's a job. I'm not excited about going to work every day (but are there really people out there who are?). I have an hour drive one way (maybe if it wasn't so far it wouldn't be so bad). I am fortunate enough to work for an agent who's been in the business a long time and we are not an office that has to sell, sell, SELL. We are more of a servicing office. We take care of our policy holders and do new quotes when people call or come in. We do ask friends and family if they'd like quotes, but don't push. I could NOT work in an office where I had to sell a lot. I'm not a sales person. I don't have that used car salesman mentality. That's just not me.
What is me? I'm not too sure! I've tried many things....and can't seem to find my 'place'.

Weather- It's just been blach here. Rain, rain, and more rain. All the rain we'd needed this summer we've gotten this winter. It's muddy, nasty, yucky. Can't do anything outside at our house with our rubber boots. We had 2 days of sunshine and now it's back to nasty rainy, cloudy yucky! I know, I'm from the north! But, at least in the north it's full out winter. Here in South Texas it's about 1/2 winter - just the nasty part.

DH will be done with school soon, and I'm contemplating going to college. But for what? Which direction should I go? Too many options, and not being sure what I want to do I'm not sure that it wouldn't just be a waste of time and money to get a degree and not use it?
Decisions, decisions.

Or, I could do what I told DH I was doing instead of coming home Friday night...Running away and joining the Circus!


  1. ahhhh...shoot! I hada hunch you were someside of bummed doodle poop Saturday at the house...

    grrr... Me's gonna start thinkin' of ways to cheers you up. I do gots an idea, but it'd need some helps from you! I thinking right now of a pony-related activity that might cheer your toes... and it's not groundwork, either.

  2. ohhhh boy... You really need a trip down to Key West!

    Hang in there!!! The sunshine really is only on the other side of the clouds.